You could be sabotaging your marriage without realising it

Marriage, like any relationship, requires effort, patience, and selfawareness. However, some behaviors, often unintentional, can cause serious damage over time.

These actions may seem harmless or routine, but they can erode the trust, intimacy, and bond between partners. If left unchecked, they can sabotage even the strongest of marriages. Here are a few ways you could be undermining your relationship without even realizing it—and how to turn things around.

Neglecting communication

One of the most common marriage pitfalls is poor communication. If you find yourself avoiding difficult conversations, bottling up your feelings, or assuming your partner knows what you’re thinking, you may be damaging your relationship. Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts and fostering a deeper connection. Solution: Make time for open and honest conversations. Share your thoughts, listen to your partner’s perspective, and work together to address any issues. Practicing active listening— where you truly hear what the other person is saying—can help.

Taking each other for granted

Over time, it’s easy to fall into routines and forget to show appreciation for your spouse. Taking your partner for granted, even unintentionally, can lead to feelings of resentment and disconnection.

Solution: Show gratitude regularly. Whether it’s for the little things—like making dinner or doing household chores—or for their emotional support, express your appreciation. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making your partner feel valued.

Letting small resentments build

Holding onto grudges over minor issues can slowly chip away at the foundation of your marriage. What may start as small irritations can fester into bigger problems if not addressed.

Solution: Address issues as they arise rather than allowing them to accumulate. If something bothers you, talk about it calmly and constructively. Finding solutions together can prevent resentment from taking root.

Neglecting intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy is vital for a healthy marriage. If you’re consistently too tired, too busy, or uninterested, it may lead to a growing distance between you and your spouse. Intimacy isn’t just about physical affection; it’s also about emotional connection, spending time together, and nurturing your bond.

Solution: Make intimacy a priority, even when life gets busy. This could mean setting aside time for date nights, being affectionate, or simply checking in with each other regularly. Prioritizing your connection helps maintain closeness and passion.

Overreliance on technology

While technology can enhance our lives, overuse can also harm our relationships. Constantly being on your phone or other devices can make your partner feel ignored or unimportant.

Solution: Set boundaries for technology use, especially during shared time. Whether it’s dinner, bedtime, or date night, put away your devices and focus on each other. Being present is key to maintaining a strong connection.

Failing to work as a team

Marriage is a partnership, and when one or both partners stop functioning as a team, the relationship can falter. Whether it’s making decisions without consulting your spouse or not sharing household responsibilities, a lack of teamwork can create imbalance and frustration.

Solution: Approach your marriage as a united front. Make decisions together, divide responsibilities fairly, and support each other’s goals and dreams. Remember that you’re in this together, and a team approach can strengthen your bond.

Focusing on winning arguments

In any relationship, disagreements are inevitable. However, when the goal becomes “winning” the argument rather than resolving the issue, the marriage suffers. Constantly trying to prove you’re right can lead to defensiveness, hurt feelings, and a breakdown in communication.

Solution: Shift your focus from winning to understanding. The aim should be to find common ground and resolve conflicts in a way that benefits both of you. Approach disagreements with empathy and a willingness to compromise.

Allowing stress to take over

Life’s pressures—work, finances, family obligations—can weigh heavily on a marriage. If stress becomes the focal point of your life, it’s easy to lose sight of your relationship and your partner’s needs. Constant stress can also lead to irritability, arguments, and distance.

Solution: Learn how to manage stress in healthy ways. This could mean taking time for selfcare, seeking support, or finding ways to tackle stressful situations together. By addressing stress constructively, you can protect your marriage from its damaging effects.

Expecting your partner to change

Many people enter marriage with the hope that their partner will eventually change certain habits or behaviors. However, expecting your spouse to transform into someone they’re not can lead to disappointment and frustration.

Solution: Accept your partner for who they are. Focus on their strengths and positive qualities rather than fixating on what you wish they’d change. If there are behaviors that truly affect your relationship, approach them with compassion and discuss how you can work together to improve things.

Ignoring personal growth

If one or both partners stop growing individually, the marriage can stagnate. Personal growth—whether it’s pursuing hobbies, education, or selfimprovement—contributes to a fulfilling life and a healthy relationship.

Solution: Encourage each other’s growth and passions. Support your partner’s interests and continue to invest in your own development. A marriage where both partners are thriving individually is one that’s more likely to thrive together.